Why I Hate Children.

For some odd, unexplainable reason, I've had to answer this question so many times recently. Do you like kids?
The answer: Fuckin' no.
I have no desire to play with, talk to, touch or in anyway interact with children. I don't hate them, I'd just rather not deal with them.

• Reason 1: They are disgusting.

Show me a child that likes to take a bath, wash its hands, use a tissue and that will be the only child I will ever like. I seriously doubt this child exists. Every kid I've met has been covered in either, snot, dirt, dried snot, food or some other foul/sticky mess that they want to rub on me. I cannot stand feeling sticky or dirty and it is every child's goal to rub me with their filth.

• Reason 2: They are dumb, but somehow know everything.

I don't like talking to children because they say stupid things. Sorry. I've never said anything mean to a kid, but I've wanted to so bad. I have so much being pent up in me, that I'm about to pop with nastiness. For instance, this one time I had to sit next to a kid on a plane. Most terrible experience ever. He talked incessantly about how he didn't believe we were in the air. "DA PLANNE, ITS JUST ROLLING ON THE CLOUD ROAD. DA CLOWDS, DEY HOLDING US UP. WE JUST HAVE DA CLOUDS HOLDING UP US. WE JUST HAVE DA CLOWDS HOLDING US UP. DERE ARE NO SSTOP SIGNS HERE." no dumbass, it's called air pressure. I know he hasn't learned that yet, but whatever, he should just shut up and talk about something he knows. Like colors or whatever.

• Reason 2a: They ask stupid questions

Like: Are you a mommy? -No, fuck off. Do you want to be a mommy? -No, fuck off.

• Reason 3: new born babies are ugly.
  

They have smushed little faces, and are covered in slime. gross.


this is all.